Eat All The Food In Your Fridge And Bin

Eat All The Food In Your Fridge And Bin

 eat all the food in your fridge and binge Family Guy on your sofa for weeks that is your life now although some of your graduates will be making more money tha

n you 51% to be exact and to the parents of those investment bankers consultants and hedge funds analysts congratulations your kids will be fabulously wealthy but

 still somehow sharing your cell phone plan because if cliff saves everybody money okay now let's get real let me rip off the band-aid for all of you day teens next year the next year of your life is going to be bad y

ou have been in the comfortable fleece-lined room of mother Dartmouth for four years now and you're gonna go out

in the cold hard world out there in the real world there will be a target on your back people will want to confirm their expectations of Ivy League graduates th

att you're a jerk that you're spoiled that you use the words summer as a verb those stereotypes exist for a reason I mean come on the guy from the $10,000 bill went to this school you're graduating

into a world where it seems like everything is falling apart trusts and institutions are at a record-low the truth doesn't seem to matter anymore and for all I know the president just tweeted us into a war with

Wakanda a country that doesn't exist so class of 2018 you are entering a world that we have toppled we have topple

d like a Jenga tower and we are relying on you to rebuild it but how can you do that with the knowledge that things are s

o unstable out there I'll tell you my secret the one thing that has kept me going through the years my superpower delusion this is something I may share with our president a fact that is bo

General Advice Is An Actually An Effective

General Advice Is An Actually An Effective

 in general advice is an actually an effective way to change your life if all it took to make your life great was hearing

amazing advice then everyone who watched TED Talks would be a millionaire so don't trust anyone story of how to become successful as Madeline Albright said aty commencement see I don't remember anyth

ing and I did just fine so here is some practical advice that you may or may not remember at the end of the speech because hey that's the gig one first off remove proficient at word from your re

sume that is ridiculous you're really scraping the bottom of the barrel of competency there this is how you become proficient at word you open word on your computer t

o most of your post college life is simply filling out forms car insurance health insurance w-2s w-4 1099s guess what none of us know what any of those forms mean but you will fill out 100 of them before you die t

hree you never need more than one pancake trust me on this cartoons have trained us to want a giant stack of those bad boys but order one first and then just see

how you feel later this one is just for guys when you on dates act as if every woman you're talking to is a reporter for an online publication that you are scared of one shouldn't need the threat of p

ublic exposure and scorn to treat women well but if that's what it's gonna take fine date like everyone's watching bec

ause we are five and this might be the most important buy a toilet plunger trust me on this don't wait until you need a plunger to buy

a plunger commencement is a time of transition for parents to that empty nest you are enjoying these past four years gone as soon as the speech is over I hop

e you like full time lodgers who don't pay rent don't do laundry

Kal Yaheen Isalie Ki Main Youtubai

Kal Yaheen Isalie Ki Main Youtubai

 haee ap mis god shit odre oph da shit vith tomen vith kal yaheen isalie ki main youtubai karana chaahata hoon kya rok phait oph rok bakavaas par phootee bakav

aas hai rok yas vah kahata hai ki ab kahaan hai kamabakht bol [] oh kuchh bhee nahin karane ke lie kuchh maan ek selphee letee hai maan apane bachchon ke saath hai oh bhagavaan yah dhanyav

aad ke saath kya hua hai kisee ne mujhe ek eemel kee tarah bheja hai kal kisee ne apana homavark kiya hai jo aisa karata hai aur phir kaushal ne sirph mwa

h mw h ko uttar diya aur main javaab deta hoon mmm mwah kya aap 12 se adhik yaip karana chaahate hain 12 mujhe hara do mujhe ek baar mein aap ko do ba

ar haraaya. mujhe ek badala lene kee jaroorat hai haan mujhe pata hai ki yah ek aakhiree ek hai jo sabhee giyar ke lie hai jo sabhee pyaaj ya kuchh aur jo main karane ja r

aha hoon haan main kamabakht hoon videshee banaam shikaaree aap ek gaayak hain jo main jeetane vaala hoon kyonki mainne kaha ki videshee b

naam aur videshee pahala pahala phaitar hamesha jeetata hai haan sahee baitamain banaam suparamain baitamain jeetata hai phredee banaam jesan hamm sahee yah teesara ek taee hoga taaki a

apap sochate hain ki aap itane bade hain ki aap ke saath sochate hain ki kya itana vipareet hai chehara bada khao bada

 chaiaizai sabase achchha bada seezar vah chalaata hai oh vah tum ho jaega isake mool koch ke lie haan, aap ise aise dekhen jaise ki yah har kisee tak pahunchata hai naarangee-peela shit [t

liyaan] [taaliyaan] us oh ke baare mein rok khed hai mujhe maaph karana, main sirph chilla raha tha haan,

haan, main isake baare mein kya kahoonga aap is tarah se kisee bhee pratikriya mein hain, haan, oh oh, haan, aapako lagata

Hai Mujhe Bahut Der Ho Chukee

Hai Mujhe Bahut Der Ho Chukee

 hai mujhe bahut der ho chukee hai main mar chuka hoon jo main ja raha hoon chalo vaise bhee karate hain yo mai

n jaanata hoon ki tum nahin, tum nahin ho  na sirph maanav maanav abhee tak yah sirph rakt ko achchhee tarah se dhota hai mujhe abhee nahin pata hai ki aa

pako sahee maayane mein bas aapako ek maalish denee chaahie, aap jeevit hain ki aap jeevit hain, ab aap nahin hai

n, oh, haan haan kya bada pair kee angulee sardiyon ka devata hai mujhe lagata hai ki vintan ne apanee khud kee main bhee nahin pata hai ki pichhalee raat saahasi

k sangrah yaad hai pichhalee baar mujhe yaad hai mere lie ek fizee drink luk tha mere lie kyooz ke baare mein chinta karane kee koshish nahin mainne bachch

on ke lie mere saath is se bachane kee koshish nahin kee. jab se mainne meetha shit nahin khaana shuroo kiya hai, tab se mujhe meethe daanton kee kamee ho gaee hai. ina

set amaanda ke aadamee ko karana hoga. main aapako bataoonga ki usake saathee ne mujhe ek daur mein ek ghar par laaya tha, sirph chuz gadha, ham kaaphee bada gitaar bajaate hain, haan, aur jab main use g

har lekar jaata tha, to main us kuen par nahin jaata, jab main chalata tha use baahar main lagabhag ek ghante aur 45 minat baad hoon haan, mainne is mahila ko ya

h kahate hue dekha ki yah har meel hoga main chillaatee hoon kyonki vah phit hai, tumhaaree maan vah haan kamabakh

t hai mujhe nahin pata phey hornabuk oh bhagavaan vah hone vaala hai jaane do, ham kahate hain ki vah itanee phit thee ki mujhe laga ki vah nandee mein se

 ek hai, jise aapako baantana chaahie tha, use use baahar karana hoga jab vah shaamil thee oh jaisee vah thee jise aapane bhoore rang se kaipchar kiya hai. monolith mein upayog karate hue main nahin hoon,

main nahin hoon jo aap ek parat se baahar nikale hain, main aapake cheree aah oh pop kar raha hoon mere bhagavaan jimanaastik kar rahe hain yah ek kau

ntar baat hai isalie hamane aap par hamala kiya, to aap ise dabaate hain mera matalab hai ki mujhe bahut sankoch hota hai daahina ghutane

Mera Naam Jon Guru Lemaare

Mera Naam Jon Guru Lemaare

namaste, mera naam jon guru lemaare hai jo mere achchhe dost hain, main jaanata hoon ki aap jaanate honge ki entholojee

phal ko usake doston aur aapake parivaar ko taiyaar karane vaale un kuchh doston mein se ek hai jinhen aapane vaas

tav mein ab hava de dee hai, kyonki main aisa nahin hoon abhineta mein ek vakr hai ya nahin aur kahaan se shuroo karane ke lie behatar hai ki kitaab se uddharan main vartamaan mein daaltan ke

e lakadee padh raha hoon jo ki mols ke baare mein nahin hai aap mols ko nahin jaanate hain aur mainne bakariyon ko pakaaya vah abhee bhee bheed hai aur vah usake paas aaya tha nishchit roop se us

ake chaaron or galaane lekin phir aur adhik gaharaee se vah use ek svaadisht namrata pasand aaya vah use pasand aaya hamen naram bartan par usake neeche ku

chh bhee nahin pasand hai main mushkil se vah usakee muskaan pasand aaya jaise ki vah ek ramaneey rahasy jaanata tha jaisa ki vah nahin ja raha tha use bataane ke lie lekin bahut behatar hai ki

 vah use dikhaane ke lie ja rahee thee ki usane apane kharaab nojal kaard se use kharonch diya aur use khud ke kareeb dabaaya aur usake kareeb pahunchee aur us

ne use prshthabhoomi mein dekha aur phir usakee dekhabhaal kee aur use vaapas bulaaya. usaka mimee-ham

m achchha main ek myoo hoon taint ajeeb saamaan ek lambe samay tak meree chhuttee mujhe akele til mainne m

ols mols ke munh ke baare mein likha hai aur yah ki main vartamaan mein em par khaana likh ​​raha hoon main mols ko mupht mein banaata hoon yah videshee rol mukt jaisa lagata hai aur phir ham kaha

te hain ki aap kyon nahin karate aisa parivartan karen jo khaane ko mupht mein samaayojit karata hai, jaise ki mol phree